Welcome to the Sandwich Generation!

MONDAY MORNING PEP TALK

When the hour I spent with my tax preparer marked the highlight of my week, it showed what a rough seven days had passed. From a four-hour business trip that morphed into a twenty-two hour travel odyssey and enough family drama to quiet the Kardashians; this is my tribute to the Sandwich Generation.

You probably fit in this category too. According to the Pew Research Center over 1 in 8 Americans aged 40-60 is caring for a parent and responsible for a child (of any age). An additional 7-10 million adults care for their aging parents from long distance. Make the picture more complex by looking for work (a stressor unto itself), being under-employed (almost worse) or having a full-time job. I’m sure you have felt the squeeze. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the sandwich, and that is one of the benefits of getting older. You have experience—muscle memory of what you did before that succeeded.

I remember the first time the pipes froze and burst while I was away on a business trip. It was January 1994 and it seemed like one of those my-head-is-going-to-explode moments. My then 2 ½-year-old had a bad cold and could not go to day care; a major proposal needed me in the office to negotiate internally with business unit marketing, sales and finance on where to position our initial offer. As I opened the door from the garage to the house with luggage and snotty-nosed toddler in hand, water was everywhere! Without a lot of experience, I began to cry. Out of sympathy, I guess, my son began to wail uncontrollably expelling yellow phlegm all over his coat. I shut the door, left the luggage in the garage, hopped in the car and drove ten miles to visit an older wiser friend and mother of six children to get help and advice.

I share this personal moment with you because nineteen years later, I’ve evolved into that older wiser woman (without the six kids) that others come to visit for help and encouragement. Many pipes have burst in my life and I’m sure you relate as well. The sandwich generation knows when we are tested at work or at home; our true nature comes to the surface. The essence of who we are really begins to shine and the years of experience we have in life begins to trump what we think we’ve lost in getting older.

Create a great week! I know you can do it.

Increase Your Job Satisfaction

Recently I addressed an alumni group about navigating the multigenerational workforce and creating a satisfying career. The overall age of the audience is somewhat younger than the groups I generally present to—most of them were at or close to a decade in the workforce. This provided a great opportunity to learn how the work experience differed than what they expected in college. I also asked what the audience thought they might be doing if talked again in ten years.

Their responses were surprising. Over half the audience had aspirations to own a business. Now maybe it was because the audience was young, intelligent and ambitious (they were spending a Saturday morning at an alumni networking breakfast) or maybe this audience viewed their roles at work much differently than the 40+ worker.

I’m guessing it is the latter. Of the twelve participants that planned to evolve into entrepreneurs, all of them are currently employed by large business and many are already promoted into supervisory roles with direct reports. Three of the young 30-somethings had impressive budget responsibility and large organizations reporting to them. Rather than look at their current companies as a place to make the proverbial climb into the corner office with plush carpet, a gatekeeper in front of their door and other discreet executive perks; they appeared to view their jobs as an extension of their education. Their income was being used to pay off student loan debt, but what company’s name was on the business card could not have matter less. Emergency in the employee engagement aisle!

Employees joining the workforce in the 1970s and 1980s, came of age in more of a “carrot and stick” management style. The carrot was the first promotion. If Bob performed well as a technician II; then Bob become a technician III or (gasp)—a Senior Technician. That changed for many Fortune 500 companies in the mid-1990s as they dabbled in “Broadbanding”. If you worked for a company that missed the Broadbanding bus (lucky you)—it is when a company flattens the hierarchy, eliminates levels of management, makes it really difficult to get a promotional title change and replaces a large number of salary levels with a small number of salary grades with broad pay ranges. That is as simple as I can make it sound. It would take a highly paid consulting practice leader to make Broadbanding sound logical today. In the era of mergers/acquisitions that was the 1990s, a suave HR consultant could spin it to make sense. My audience impatiently expects titles and pay increases now--or they are leaving even with 8% unemployment.

The 40+ worker believed their company was the beginning and the end while this cohort of twenty-five to thirty-two year olds view their work as a means to an end.   They were much more interested in my four years of entrepreneurship and how I build blog traffic than an audience of their peers a decade or two older.  They appeared to be simultaneously engaged in their jobs today and could fire off a text with their resignation tomorrow. Corporate loyalty? They snickered as if my AARP card had fallen out of my wallet.

Over dinner, I was discussing this event with friends for their assessment. One astute observation was that my audience included children of Baby Boomers. They lived through their parent’s being laid off in corporate downsizings; they were relocated as children when their parents moved to start new jobs and they understand that for as much as a company provides their payroll direct deposit today—these young people think like freelancers or 1099-workers. More experienced workers have additional considerations including aging parents, health issues, young adult children or in some cases second families with young children---adopting the mindset of a younger generation where it makes sense, could be your ticket to increased career satisfaction.

Where Did My Confidence Go? I Know it's Around Here Somewhere

Monday Morning Pep Talk--July 30, 2012

Sometimes in a long career, you begin to lose your confidence. It starts around the time you can't remember where you put your keys. A misstep or two may make you believe it is time to get out of the game. Your co-workers and managers are decades younger, and you begin to minimize your accomplishments and focus on your flaws.

Loss of your confidence as an employee, entrepreneur or job-seeker in your 40s, 50s, and 60+ is the beginning of a downward spiral you have to address and reverse. Losing your confidence at work feels like rejection, paranoia, and excessive worry. You may have seen this in others on the job. As a human resources consultant, I have worked with clients that have lost their confidence and lost their way (and almost lost their businesses). While coaching was never a primary line of business in my HR consultancy; loss of the leader’s confidence had a disastrous affect on the workplace (and that was my focus). Well-meaning business professionals turned into tyrants. It showed up as micromanaging, bitterness of the business owner/leader toward their staff; lack of trust in their team; poor business results and increased turnover (of the wrong employees).

If your confidence needs a boost, try these three things this week:

(1)  Watch what you say when you talk to yourself. Admit it—you do have those private internal conversations. We all do. As self-confidence wanes, our imagination runs wild. We begin to speculate instead of waiting for the facts. Every time disruptive negative thoughts enter your mind or internal conversation this week—counter it with a positive thought or affirmation. “I have done it before; I can do it again.” One of my favorites, “When you are young, you learn; when you are old, you understand.” (I am not calling you “old” think of it as wise).

(2)  Give Yourself Credit for What You have Accomplished. The 40+ crowd is a lot different from the group I call the “T-ball generation.” In the “T-ball” world everyone was a winner, they played sports where no one kept score (except parents/grandparents on the sidelines) and it developed a sense of entitled narcissism—they have now moved into management jobs-hiring 40+ workers. We, on the other hand, easily forget our successes and dwell on our failures. When faced with this dichotomy, remember the accomplishments of your past are the foundation of your future. So lighten up, already!

(3)  Get Support if Needed. Confidence at work is essential and if you need help looking for yours, don’t be shy in reaching out. Whether is it calling that positive, affirming friend, joining a job club or hiring a licensed, certified professional (psychologist, life coaches and career coaches do this type of work)—do it this week.

Reclaiming your confidence is like re-igniting a fire inside you. Confidence fuels your energy. The boost you feel will increase your effectiveness as a leader, entrepreneur or in your job search.

You’ve got 168 hours! Make it a great week.

Monday Morning Pep Talk: July 23, 2012

(The Monday Morning Pep Talk is another new occasional feature for the blog. If you are interested in providing a "Pep Talk" of less than 500 words, I'm open to guest writers. Contact me!)

KEEPING IT IN PERSPECTIVE

It is Monday morning somewhere and what lies ahead is a week of possibilities, 168 hours that can shape the rest of your life. The intent of our first pep talk together is to motivate you to keep the week in perspective (especially the challenges, obstacles and delays). Initially, this inaugural installment was about setting goals. Then, Friday there was the mass murder during the Batman movie premiere in Aurora, Colorado. It was a startling reminder about the importance of perspective. Who wouldn't approach the week differently if we knew it were our last?

When a tragedy happens like the incident in Colorado—it reminds us that while we are in the hustle and bustle or working, looking for work or trying to move up at work—our occupations (though incredibly important) are just one facet of our total lives.  The most recent data says the average life expectancy of a woman in the United States is 80.8 years and for men it is 75.6 years. The fatalities in Colorado are not of people who reached those ages. Whatever happens this week, keep it in perspective—how important is it in a lifespan of 75-80 years?

Whether you are working at the job of your dreams this Monday morning or just trading your time for money to pay the bills; remember it is a job—not your life. Take some time to enjoy your kids before they go back to school.  Call your friend you’ve been meaning to talk to instead of communicating by Facebook or text. Let them know you are thinking about them even if you just leave a message on voicemail. Compliment someone at the store or gas station and make their day. Smile for no reason.

Maybe your Monday will be dominated by looking for a job— it could have been a while since you’ve worked or since you have earned the kind of money you’re accustomed to and this week you are searching for a career upgrade. Just because no one called you back last week-doesn’t mean the same thing will happen this week. And if no one calls you back, maybe it is time to change your tactics and your job-search strategy—join a job club, start a job club, update your LinkedIn profile and network with someone new or volunteer for something short-term to shake up your routine and meet some new people.

Ultimately, we are the authors of the story on how we spent our 168 hours. Make it a great week!

Life expectancies by countries around the world (as of 2010) :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_life_expectancy