Welcome to the Sandwich Generation!

MONDAY MORNING PEP TALK

When the hour I spent with my tax preparer marked the highlight of my week, it showed what a rough seven days had passed. From a four-hour business trip that morphed into a twenty-two hour travel odyssey and enough family drama to quiet the Kardashians; this is my tribute to the Sandwich Generation.

You probably fit in this category too. According to the Pew Research Center over 1 in 8 Americans aged 40-60 is caring for a parent and responsible for a child (of any age). An additional 7-10 million adults care for their aging parents from long distance. Make the picture more complex by looking for work (a stressor unto itself), being under-employed (almost worse) or having a full-time job. I’m sure you have felt the squeeze. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the sandwich, and that is one of the benefits of getting older. You have experience—muscle memory of what you did before that succeeded.

I remember the first time the pipes froze and burst while I was away on a business trip. It was January 1994 and it seemed like one of those my-head-is-going-to-explode moments. My then 2 ½-year-old had a bad cold and could not go to day care; a major proposal needed me in the office to negotiate internally with business unit marketing, sales and finance on where to position our initial offer. As I opened the door from the garage to the house with luggage and snotty-nosed toddler in hand, water was everywhere! Without a lot of experience, I began to cry. Out of sympathy, I guess, my son began to wail uncontrollably expelling yellow phlegm all over his coat. I shut the door, left the luggage in the garage, hopped in the car and drove ten miles to visit an older wiser friend and mother of six children to get help and advice.

I share this personal moment with you because nineteen years later, I’ve evolved into that older wiser woman (without the six kids) that others come to visit for help and encouragement. Many pipes have burst in my life and I’m sure you relate as well. The sandwich generation knows when we are tested at work or at home; our true nature comes to the surface. The essence of who we are really begins to shine and the years of experience we have in life begins to trump what we think we’ve lost in getting older.

Create a great week! I know you can do it.

Why Performance Appraisals Happen in Winter

2013 produced a tough winter both from a weather perspective and personally. Indianapolis’ Chamber of Commerce did not order “Super Bowl weather” since we didn’t host this year and it was windy, icy, cold and snowy for more months than usual.  Enduring an atypical winter, always begs the question about relocating to Indianapolis from Scottsdale. What was I thinking?

On a personal note, two close friends and an acquaintance died in February. For most people this would immediately create somber thoughts about mortality and your personal legacy. My thoughts turned to more first world crisis (in no particular order).

·         If I buy Tumi luggage at an outlet or on eBay instead of taking advantage of the March in-store sale, would the Tumi store still monogram my pieces?

·         My friends in California successfully lost their meno-pot belly flab with TRX Suspension Training. Is a flat belly over 50 possible for everyone? Since I found suspension training in Indy; should I drive further than my gym and pay more money to try?  

·         Can I use my blog to score a press pass for the next Ted Talk?

I’m not proud that my thoughts are often not deep or profound, and in the spirit of full transparency none of these brands pay me to mention them on this post or anywhere on this site. Just as I was sighing the Tumi sale was the only way to guarantee authentic merchandise; my friend Jane* called in tears. (Her name is changed, but she knows who she is and I know she’s reading)

Jane had her first performance appraisal from a new boss who joined their company in November. His appraisal of her work was scathing; it was the lowest rating she received in years and in this fragile recovering economy, 52-year-old Jane was afraid of losing her job. Her merit increase was an insignificant 1.8%. Jane also reminded me that I have not written a blog post in over a month, missed commenting on the Yahoo working from home brouhaha; Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, Lean In or issuing my annual rant about the Best Places to Work list in Fortune. Apologies to all.

Performance appraisal time is a stressful for managers and employees. In the best situations; your PA should not be a surprise. If you and your boss are touching base quarterly on your performance vs. their expectations—the year-end appraisal is basically a recap. Generally, if the former manager is currently with the organization, they will write the appraisal and the new manager may write comments about what (s) he has observed. This is particularly true when the new boss only spent six weeks in the period they are appraising. In Jane’s case her former manager was demoted and moved to a new department when new leadership took over in spring 2012. The new boss is someone new management brought in from their former company. Jane was so visibly upset at the review she asked her new boss for time to review the appraisal at home and create a response before she signed it.

I’ll share my thoughts and advice to Jane over the telephone and look forward to your comments about performance appraisals and how you handle them.

#1: Recognize that the performance appraisal is just one more sign, your workplace is changing. New senior management, new mid-level managers with different expectations, your former boss shoved into a broom closet without any direct reports. The critical questions become:

(a) can anything you do be valued or is the new manager there to “clean house”?

(b) do you want to stay with the company or are you ready to move on?

(c) how will you manage/survive this situation until you can get on the same page as the new boss,  transfer to a new department or find a new job if you choose to leave?

#2: You must sign the performance appraisal. Not signing the appraisal in many organizations is viewed as insubordination. Your signature is acknowledgement that you reviewed it with your supervisor NOT that you agree.

#3: Getting visibly emotional over the PA and asking to bring it home was probably not the best reaction Jane could have made and there is no “do-over” now. I suggested she salvage the situation by writing an objective, upbeat comment including her interest in collaborating more closely to insure her performance and his expectations are more closely aligned in the future and that she plans to meet with him quarterly to discuss her progress.

Performance appraisals have been part of my corporate life for 36 years, and it is one of the few areas of the work experience has not benefited from innovation. From giving PAs, receiving them, listening to employees rant about them, reading about PAs in HR exit surveys; watching PowerPoints from $200 p/hour consultants presenting their firm’s  solutions to connect performance management with business results and trying to make them better as an HR consultant; there are few areas in HR less contentious, except executive compensation.

My bottom line about performance appraisal and performance management is trust. To have an effective conversation about your perception of someone else’s performance or their understanding of what it is expected of them does not happen for an hour or ninety minutes once a year. You build trust with the people you work with and the people you work for every day. As a leader you give honest feedback, have tough conversations and just as important, you listen to employees. 

The Early Retirement Myth, Part Two

Early feedback from part one of this series was clear, retiring early is a myth of youth. The more years we work either as an employee or an entrepreneur, adults realize retiring at forty or fifty-five years-old is an illusion. An e-mail I received this week summed up the myth, it read:

“...if you have the smarts, passion, energy and focus

to achieve the financial resources needed to retire at 45 or 55

and live another forty years; you are by definition a driven person.

The same goal-oriented, successful individual is not going to be

satisfied with what you term a “3-G” retirement...”

Many times “early retirement” is a euphemism for trading in an unsatisfying job or career for work that is more meaningful and rewarding. It is not about ending employment to spend forty years on the beach relaxing; it is about reinventing yourself and discovering happiness in the second half of your life. Life after fifty looks different for everyone and the options are endless. You can continue to work if you like your job and the company values the expertise of mature employees. There are more options to work from home as technology improves or to have a flexible work schedule if you must go into an employer’s building. All of these changes make it easier to continue working into your 60s and 70s if you choose.

Over the years, I began to view the retirement life stage more  holistically including health, financial well-being, satisfying relationships, meaningful activities whether they are paid or unpaid, physical activity and spirituality. As the global economy sputters towards recovery, the financial impact of retiring early cannot be ignored. According to the Census Bureau in 2010 nine percent of U. S. senior citizens lived in poverty. A global income study, Elder Poverty in an Ageing World, by a team of researchers (Smeedling et. al) was published in 2008. In their study, the United States had 25% of seniors over age 65 in poverty leading Australia, United Kingdom, Italy, Germany, Sweden and Canada with 6 percent based on 2000 data.

I know many workers experienced forced “early retirement” through a lay-off, company shut-down and unexpectedly being terminated from employment in their 40s and 50s. “The element of surprise is the worse feeling,” according to one 50+ blog reader that emailed me about their small town plant closing last summer. The human resources professional did not see it coming. New owners acquired the manufacturing plant two years ago and assured the senior management team their operation was performing satisfactorily two weeks before filing the WARN Act (impending plant closing) paperwork. Recently I received an e-mail through LinkedIn. The 54-year-old former HR Director found work at a higher salary after a four month job search, lots of networking and earning certification in her HR specialty. In the past few months, more experienced workers are finding good jobs again. One blog reader recently purchased a franchise after reading the post in July, performing their research and contacting Jim Gleason.

http://workinglater.blogspot.com/2012/07/buying-franchise-is-it-right-for-you.html

Maybe early retirement is an oxymoron. What is your plan for your life after work? Retiring early? Share your views in the comments section anonymously if you prefer.  I'm interested in hearing from you.

 You have 168 hours, make it a great week!

The Early Retirement Myth

                           The Early Retirement Myth: Why I am Not Retiring Early
                                                    and Neither Are You

I have a friend named Fred who constantly asks me when I’m going to retire. This is simultaneously a compliment and it is annoying. It is a compliment because obviously Fred imagines as a single mom/head of household for nearly twenty years; I am financially savvy enough to make the numbers lineup to retire at age 55. It is equally annoying because:

(a) The numbers are FAR from lining up despite my best efforts

(b) I enjoy working and the social engagement that comes from interacting with others

(c) With my genes I could easily outlive the Institute of Medicine’s forecast for U.S. women’s life expectancy of 80-85. My grandma died at home in her sleep at 104 of no particular disease and other family members are living well past IOM’s predicted expiration date

(d) All of the Above.

At forty-three years old, Fred has a rockin’ career, 2.0 young children, a wife, suburban home and seems to be on the trajectory to “Dream Street.” He assures me when he’s my age—he’s closing his office door for a life of 24/7/365 leisure. With a 401(k) approaching seven figures, Fred thinks his future is going to be an endless vacation. This is the point when I bring out the stick pin to burst the bubble of Fred’s Early Retirement Fantasy. If you are reading this in your 40s (and I know some 20s & 30-somethings read this blog even though I tell them there are secrets spilled here you have to be at least 40 to comprehend), let me guarantee you this: Barring some extraordinary life event, 99% of employees and business owners will not retire by choice at 55. There is a good reason for this. Fred, take notes.

Most of the people who talk about early retirement only focus on the financial aspects. From researching and interviewing people who have retired well and marginally before starting this blog; the happiest retirees approach leaving work from a holistic perspective. If you aspire to the traditional 3G retirement lifestyle of Golf, Grandkids and General Practitioner with no extra revenue being earned; it is very expensive. In 2012, according to Fidelity Investments, a 65-year-old couple is estimated to need $240,000 to cover out-of-pocket medical expenses not covered by the Medicare plan in place today. Imagine carrying the weight of all your family's health care needs on your broad shoulders at 55—you might even still have kids in college!

When I was consulting a financial planner in the roaring 1990s—she said I would only need 70-80% of my income when I retired. What did she expect me to give up? Driving? As I was shredding her proposal a few nights ago, I realized her projections were before Starbucks, iPhones and DirectTV were even in my budget. Anyway, the retired people I interviewed said in the early years of their retirement, they spent much more than when they were working. Many retirees wanted to travel and never had time when they were employed full-time. Other retirees found time to indulge in hobbies and it cost money to pursue these activities—even gardening can become pricey. You have your first grandchild and lose your mind buying “stuff” even the most boring grandparent will donate money to their namesake’s College 529 plan. Uber-cool grandparents splurge on the $$ (not available in stores) 6V Hello Kitty Quad ATV scoring it on eBay.

It doesn’t matter how much is in your 401(k) in 2013 or if your company is the rare one with a defined benefit pension plan. At fifty-five you’re walking away without the full company benefit that kicks in at 62 or 65 anyway. If Fred thinks he can retire at 55 and then cruise into Social Security with a reduced benefit at 62—oh please! When he turns fifty and joins AARP their website will warn him of the folly associated with that strategy. Claiming social security benefits early is the right choice for only certain situations. Still not convinced? In Part II we’ll cover that other non-financial reasons, you may want to nix the early retirement idea and think again. Forward this to someone!

Get Ready for Your Close-Up: Interviewing in the Video Age

You say you want a revolution

Well, you know

We all want to change the world.......

                                                        Lyrics from "Revolution" by John Lennon

When it comes to interviewing, the future has arrived. Technologically advanced organizations and some others that would surprise you are already using video interviewing, Skype and video conferencing technology to source candidates. What began as a recruitment tool used by Silicon Valley

companies is now being used in organizations as diverse as the VA Hospitals and non-profit organizations. As the technology becomes more accessible and recruiters become more comfortable with the camera, you can expect to interview via video at some point in your career.
A few years ago I had the opportunity to be part of the selection panel for a non-profit agency seeking a high-level member of their leadership team. Three candidates were in the final round after telephone interviews and the online application process. Of these three potential candidates the final two would come to Indiana for a face-to-face interview that would cost the organization airfare, hotel, meals and ground transportation. In the past few years, I’ve had an opportunity to advise blog readers preparing for their first video interview and participate in additional selection panels.

Here are a few tips from what I experienced:

1.      If you are not going to the company’s local office for the video interview with a remote office—manage your environment. If you are using Skype from home, make sure your surroundings are quiet, lighting is adequate and the background is professional. Don’t set up your laptop in your bedroom! I’m not joking, I heard of someone that did. No crying babies, no barking dogs and no ringing telephones. Hopefully you will be at your recruiter’s office using their professional video conference equipment and they will prepare you, but I’ve known others who have interviewed from home.

2.      Reduce the shine—I’m being a little picky here (and you may say superficial), but image matters. Shiny faces, dirty smeared glasses lens and men with light reflecting off a bald head comes across poorly in an HD video environment. I asked a friend in the television business how to combat this and they suggested you do what the stars do and apply a little powder if your image is gleaming. If you wear glasses, like I do, clean them before the camera starts rolling. Since I’m being superficial—avoid highly patterned dresses or ties. Go with solid colors that make you feel great.

3.      Appear relaxed—the best way to look natural knowing that you’re on camera with people interviewing you from various locations for a great job, you really want is PRACTICE. Ensure your technology works by using your webcam with a relative or friend first. Have your silenced cell phone nearby in case their equipment fails and it becomes a conference call interview. Become comfortable with the microphone, know its range, so you don’t appear to lean forward and speak into it. Also, insure the camera is at eye level so you don’t appear to be looking up at the interviewers or with the desk mounted camera, you don’t want to look down. Looking down gives all of us a double chin (I am being superficial again, sorry).  Remember to smile when appropriate especially during the initial introductions and the sign-off, the interviewers will remember your smile.

4.      Know your Interviewers Names—this is important because video interviews have their limitations. When one interviewer is at the corporate office in Boston and two others are at a field office in San Antonio, you cannot make eye contact with one person specifically. I was particularly impressed with a candidate who occasionally called us by name when answering a question. If it were done too much, it would be annoying, but it is a great way to acknowledge a specific interviewers question and serves as giving them eye contact.

For experienced job candidates, don’t let this technology throw you off your “A” game. This is one area where younger workers and more mature workers are on close to equal footing because video interviewing is new for everyone even the hiring managers. Yes, they are going to see how old you are (even before they ask your birth date to book your flight to come for the face-to-face interview) and the interviewers will also see your maturity, your self-confidence and adaptability to technology.
Get ready for your close-up and your new job!

Job Interview Tips for Experienced Workers

Interviewing for a job in your 40s, 50s, and 60+ is not the same as the interviews of our youth. Part One of this guide is for the elements that are the same, like not bashing your former employer or boss. Part Two focuses on the high tech changes because video interviews are here to stay!  Please read Part One even though it is a refresher, Part Two is video interviewing and will be posted soon. Part two is especially important if you haven’t interviewed in the past five years.

First, congratulate yourself because your resume won you a chance to move to the short list of candidates.

The Basics Are Still Worth Repeating:

1)     Even if someone on the interview team talks badly of your current or former company because they have worked there and know how bad it is, DO NOT speak badly of your boss, the company or senior management. Focus on the job you are interviewing for and how excited you are about this opportunity.

2)    Be on time. Leave early, allow for traffic and plan ahead.  However, if you are at the interview “stalker-like early” just sit in the car nearby until 15 minutes before your appointment. Arriving two hours early and wanting to sit in the lobby or being in the parking lot before the company opens smacks of desperation (and it scares people).

3)    Dress appropriately. Even interviews at health clubs deserve attire you wouldn’t work out in while you are trying to win the job. A man can never go wrong in a suit that fits great. A visit to the tailor for alterations can update an older suit. I always err on the side of conservative dress for women, but NOT the interview suit of the 1980s—remember the navy or black skirted suit with the white shirt with a bow tie? A visit to the free personal shopper at a high-end department can help you put together an ensemble worthy of an interview with C-suite executives.

4)    Avoid being patronizing to younger people on the interview team or women. Recently, I heard from a female business owner that a 40ish man she was interviewing referred to her as “dear” and “my dear” several times during the interview. He didn’t get the job. I have also seen 40+ interviewees act dismissive toward 20-somethings that are either human resource professionals or members of the interview team. Balance being professional and respectful to administrative staff with being obnoxious. (Note: To the guy who was doing magic tricks for the secretaries; they thought you were a weirdo. If you want to work again, stop the magic tricks.)

5)    Practice Practice Practice! Find someone to role-play with and practice how you will answer the basic behavioral interview questions—the ones that begin with “tell me about a time when you…”  The interviewer is expecting a succinct response to how you solved a work problem in the past. These types of interview questions are asked under the premise that what you’ve done in the past predicts how you handle situations in the future.

6)    Above all else, don’t talk too much—it seems the older we get, the more we enjoy talking. Stay focused. Answer the questions add appropriate SHORT examples, insure you’ve addressed the issue by asking and be quiet. At the end of the interview, “CLOSE” for the job! 

Avoiding a Mid-Life Career Skyfall

Monday Morning Pep Talk

Over the weekend I saw Skyfall, the new James Bond movie (which I highly recommend) and from a mid-life career management standpoint, this is a case of art imitating life.

New (younger) management comes into the company and tells the older person in charge to retire voluntarily “with dignity” or get dragged through the mud and be forced out. Stop me if you’ve heard this one. But in the movie (and I am not giving the plot away) the older person says, “To hell with dignity! I’ll retire when the job is done!” and storms off. That’s the part when you remember it is a movie.   It never quite plays out like that in real life.

In Skyfall, our hero James is older and somewhat worse for the wear. Obviously, the very negligent HR professionals at his employer have never suggested the Employee Assistance Plan for his hard-drinking or counseled him about habitual sexual harassment and gratuitous violence he’s shown in getting the job done.

Here are a couple of Skyfall moments to pack your mid-life career parachute with:

1. When a mistake is made, organizations make someone pay. The bigger the error, the more heads roll. Skyfall had an embarrassing security breach and people died. Hopefully your job it is not quite that intense.

007 TIP: Don’t sign up for any high-visibility projects tipping toward the probability of failure, lead a project that is not fully-resourced or align yourself with someone in career freefall. I know it is not always your choice. If someone signs you up for a project with the Codename: TITANIC, update your resume.

2. If you are not constantly adding to your skill set, reinventing yourself and expanding your network; you might as well get measured for a blue vest at the nearest big box store. In Skyfall, the war was fought technologically. The weapons were laptops, computer hacking and viruses. The days of exploding pens are long gone.

007 TIP: Is your latest education over ten years old? It is time to supplement your experience. Bond’s nemesis asked, what was the super-spy’s hobby—his answer “resurrection”. Get comfy with technology. There’s always going to be a new boss to prove yourself to if you want to stick around.

3. What comes around goes around. In business as in life, time heals wounds and time wounds heels. It is better to err on the side of being kind (even in the hard cold world of business) than being a heartless robotic jerk, because over the span of a career lifetime, it comes back at you in spades.

007 TIP: Skyfall was the most dramatic Bond movie with the least amount of special effects. There were plenty of explosions and the Aston Martin DB-5 was back, but the drama was in the emotion. M was stoic as her past actions were called into question. Over the years, we become more introspective. A philosophical Bond had to go home literally and metaphorically to face his past.

From my vantage point, it was great to see 007 hold on to his job and be given a chance to work with the new management team.  Although the HR part of me still thinks his employee relations rep should have that heart-to-heart talk with Bond and begin documenting (just in case)- lol. You’ve got 168 hours to make it a great week!